Last Updated: Perpetually pending review.
Introduction
Welcome to Nullfolio Ltd. ("we," "us," "our," "The Absence Provider"). These Terms of Service ("Terms") govern your use of the Nullfolio website and services (the "Service"), which consists primarily of us doing very little, or ideally, nothing at all.
By subscribing to Nullfolio, you ("the Client," "the Subscriber," or "the Doer of Nothing") acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agreed to be bound by these Terms. If you disagree with these terms, your sole recourse is to do nothing, which, ironically, aligns perfectly with our service offering.
1. The Nature of Our Service
1.1. Nullfolio provides conceptual, non-actionable subscription services. The core value of the Service is the deliberate absence of activity, output, or intervention on our part.
1.2. You understand and agree that you are paying for a state of affairs, not for a tangible outcome or a specific result. The Service is a philosophical commentary, a novelty, and a piece of conceptual art. It is not a utility.
2. Subscription and Payment
2.1. By initiating a subscription, you authorize us to charge your chosen payment method the recurring subscription fee.
2.2. All sales are final. We operate a strict No Refund Policy. Issuing a refund would constitute a definitive "action," fundamentally violating the core principle of the Service you purchased. Therefore, refunds are philosophically and practically impossible.
3. User Conduct and Responsibilities
3.1. You agree not to use the Service for any unlawful purpose or in any way that might damage, disable, or overburden the Nullfolio website.
3.2. You agree not to harass our (non-existent) customer support team or demand actions from us, as this contradicts the spirit of the agreement.
4. Limitation of Liability
4.1. To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, Nullfolio Ltd., its directors, employees, and agents shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages, including without limitation, loss of profits, data, use, goodwill, or other intangible losses, resulting from:
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(i) your access to or use of or inability to access or use the Service;
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(ii) any failure of the Service to provide the specific nothingness you expected;
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(iii) any existential ennui, profound peace, or mild amusement experienced as a result of your subscription.
4.2. Our total cumulative liability to you for all claims arising from this agreement, in contract, tort, or otherwise, will be limited to the total fees you have paid to us in the three (3) months preceding the event giving rise to the claim. Under no circumstances will we be liable to provide more than a full refund, an action we are philosophically opposed to taking.
5. Termination
5.1. You may terminate your subscription at any time by logging into your account and canceling. This requires you to take an action, for which we apologize.
5.2. We reserve the right to suspend or terminate your access to the Service if, in our sole discretion, you are found to be in violation of these Terms or are excessively demanding that we do something.
6. General Provisions
6.1. Governing Law: These Terms shall be governed by the laws of a jurisdiction known for its tranquility and minimal judicial interference. We haven't decided which one, as the research would be too strenuous.
6.2. Severability: If any provision of these Terms is held to be invalid or unenforceable, that provision shall be deemed severed from the Terms, and the remaining provisions shall remain in full force and effect, continuing to obligate us to do as little as possible.
6.3. Changes to Terms: We reserve the right to modify these Terms at any time. We will post the revised Terms on the Nullfolio website. We will not notify you of these changes directly, as that would constitute an action. Your continued use of the Service after such changes constitutes your acceptance of the new Terms.
7. Contact Us (A Contradiction)
Should you have any questions regarding these Terms of Service—an act of inquiry we gently discourage—you may theoretically contact us at support@nullfolio.com. We maintain the right to not respond, as a response would be an action inconsistent with our product.
By subscribing, you accept that the core tenet of this agreement is our mutual understanding that very little will be done.