Q: Is this a real company?
A: That depends on your definition of "real." We are a legally registered entity that processes real payments in exchange for providing a conceptual framework of inaction. The value is philosophical, the transaction is not.
Q: What am I actually paying for?
A: You are paying for the concept, the statement, and the permission. You are purchasing a formally recognized and validated state of "nothing." The value is in the relief, the humor, and the philosophical alignment, not in a physical good or actionable service.
Q: How do I cancel my subscription?
A: You can cancel by logging into your account portal. We acknowledge the profound irony of requiring an action to cease your subscription to inaction, and we apologize for this philosophical inconsistency. It is a necessary evil of the digital infrastructure we are forced to inhabit.
Q: Do you offer refunds?
A: No. Issuing a refund is a definitive and energetic action. Providing actions is the one service we categorically do not offer. All sales are final, as a refund would fundamentally violate the core principle of the product you purchased.
Q: What if I need customer support?
A: You may email support@nullfolio.com. Please be aware that requesting support is a direct violation of the quiet agreement we share. Responses are not guaranteed, as they constitute work. We encourage you to meditate on your problem until it dissipates.
Q: Is my data safe?
A: We employ a state-of-the-art security protocol known as "Having Very Little Data to Steal." We collect the bare minimum required to process your payment and provide your nothingness. For more details, please see our Privacy Policy, which we were compelled to write.
Q: Can I give Nullfolio as a gift?
A: Absolutely. Giving the gift of nothing is the ultimate act of thoughtful minimalism. Visit our Gift of Nothing page to liberate someone from the burden of receiving another physical object.
Q: I haven't received my monthly "Nothing." What should I do?
A: Congratulations. You have reached a state of such pure nothingness that even our automated systems have failed to generate a record of it. This is the pinnacle of the Nullfolio experience. If you insist on taking action, however, you may check your account status.
Q: Are you making fun of me?
A: We are making fun of everything: the subscription economy, productivity culture, and ourselves. Our customers are our partners in this quiet satire. You are in on the joke, not the butt of it.
Q: What's next for Nullfolio?
A: We are deeply committed to our current trajectory of focused inaction. We have no roadmap, no five-year plan, and no goals. Our ambition is to maintain this state of serene, sustainable stillness.