Last Updated: It hardly seems to matter.
Introduction
Welcome to the Nullfolio.com Cookie Policy. This page exists due to a persistent and energetic European regulation, the very antithesis of our core mission. We find the entire concept of "cookies" rather active, but we are legally compelled to address them.
In keeping with our service, we strive to use as few cookies as possible. Ideally, we would use none, but modern web infrastructure insists on a certain level of digital busywork.
1. What Are Cookies?
Cookies are small pieces of data stored on your device by your web browser. They are typically used to remember things, track things, and personalize things. We find all of these activities rather taxing.
2. The Cookies We (Reluctantly) Use
We categorize our cookies based on their level of activity, from the "Regrettably Necessary" to the "Aggressively Optional."
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Strictly Necessary Cookies (The Bare Minimum)
These cookies are essential for you to navigate the site and use its basic features, such as processing your payment for nothing. Without them, our website would cease to function, which would ironically be the purest expression of our brand, but is apparently bad for business.-
Purpose: To remember that you are logged in and to process your subscription to inactivity.
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Performance Cookies (If We Must)
These cookies collect information about how you use our website, such as which pages you visit. We analyze this data with a sense of profound lethargy, making minimal improvements to our site out of a vague sense of obligation.-
Purpose: To see which page causes the most people to leave our site, so we can emulate it.
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Functionality Cookies (An Unfortunate Misnomer)
These cookies allow the website to remember choices you make and provide more personal (and therefore, more effortful) features.-
Purpose: To remember your login details so you have to do less.
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Targeting/Advertising Cookies (We Do Not Use These)
We categorically refuse to use these. The very idea of tracking you across the web to show you targeted ads is an egregious violation of our commitment to inaction and your privacy. We will not participate in this digital clamor.
3. The Cookie We Wish We Had
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The Null Cookie: A cookie whose sole function is to delete itself and all other cookies from your browser upon leaving our site. We are working on this, but the development process requires effort.
4. How to Manage Your Cookies (An Active Pursuit)
Managing cookies requires you to do something, which we understand is contrary to the reason you're here. However, if you insist on taking action, you can usually modify your browser settings to decline cookies.
Be advised that removing the "Strictly Necessary" cookies may prevent you from paying us to do nothing, which is a paradox we are not equipped to solve.
5. Contact Us Regarding Cookies
If you have any questions about this Cookie Policy, you may contact us at support@nullfolio.com.
Please be aware that expressing concern about cookies is, itself, an action. We will file your email in a folder marked "Active Inquiries" and likely do nothing about it. This is our promise to you.